Wednesday, November 14, 2007

court marshal

P.S. "myself" is not audible to "prof"....phew!!! ;)
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Tuesday......6th November
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having read that a prof wanted to meet me regarding a course in the next semester.....I was
moving towards his office with all the confidence in the world. "Oh....I can convince him in no time!!!" said "myself" to "me".
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[knock...knock]
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[no response]
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[knock...knock]
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the door started moving back.....n i could see three heads staring at me as if i'm from some other planet
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turning to the right i saw my destiny.........thick spects [that sucked]...working on his computer but suddenly disturbed by my unexpected invasion into his territory.
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me (with a smile) : "Sir, if you are busy i can come later".
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i was ready to hear "ok...u come at...bla..bla..bla.."
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but!!
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prof : "Listen....i won't allow you in my course next semester"
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myself : "What the hell!!!....he...he hasn't even asked my name!! Oh, am I that famous!! ;) "
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prof (continuing his speech): "You've attended only 7 out of 32 lectures of this course, I won't let you in."
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myself (amazed): "how does he know??? ......does this mean that i've waisted 7 hrs of my life on that subject???....shame on me!!!"
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me (still smiling ): "ok sir :)"
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i closed the door slowly n turned my face back.....n look at that!! a whole bunch of PhDs staring at me like anything
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i don't remember my journey back to the hostel....all i was thinking was how to handle this.
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but then suddenly i could hear the dialogue from the movie "guru" that said "'na' shabd sunayi nahi deta humain"
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i came back to my room n wrote an email to him saying that i didn't discuss with him at that time because i didn't wanted to disturb him [actually i had nothing to say at that time ;) ]
n thought of going ahead with some "claims" n "promises" to placate this <@#%$&%> prof
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the result.....he asked me to come to his office again :)
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back to the same stage this time i was moving with even greater confidence
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but this man was difficult to handle
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as i sat down face to face with him i found myself in a situation of "court marshal"
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imagine u don't even remember when was the last time u attended a lecture (that's not too hard to imagine by the way!!).....n suddenly one day u'r sitting in front of a prof who asks you...
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prof: "So why don't u attend the lectures??"
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"myself", who normally never stops speaking in my mind was silent for the first time!!
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i literally felt like running away....far away from him [or rather from myself]
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me: "Sir, aahhhmm....actually....aa...hhmm....its a thing of routine...."
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i bet "routine" was a wrong word to use at this place!!
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by this time the loquacious "myself" was back on track!!
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myself: "Lectures!!.... u call them lectures!!....hell with them!!....that imperturbable creature never cares who is listening in the class!! its not worth waisting my sleep for that monotonous thing u called lecture.....n that too at 8 am in the morning!!.....even my girlfriend can't wake me up at 8.....who are u to ask for that golden period of my life!!"
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prof : "routine!!...can u tell me what do u do at 8 am everyday??"
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this time i really really wanted to fly away...
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me: "Sir, i'm usually sleeping at 8 am"
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then started a whole bunch of what i would call as blasphemy.
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he didn't leave nething....it seems he was fed up from years n this avalanche in him was waiting for somebody to come underneath it.
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from classy preachings about "work ethics" to cheap scoldings like "i think u'r not getting ne other course...so u'r behind me to take u"....he simply spoke up everything one would never want to hear
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n me.....poor me....
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"myself" was ready to explode like a nuclear bomb....but it was time to let the guy speak....
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prof: "i'm gonna conduct surprise quizes in the next sem....so people like u will have to pay..."
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me (nodding): "ok sir"
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myself: "now he's coming to the line ;)"
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prof: "...n i'll deduct 1 mark for each absence"
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me: "sir, u deduct 1 from everyone....n 2 from me...i'f i'm absent"
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myself: "what!!...what are u saying!!...have u gone mad!!"
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i seriously think it was an overstatement
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n i promised him to attend all the rest of the classes of the present course....again a big mistake!!
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prof: "ok i'll accept u"
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me (obviously smiling): "thank u sir"
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the words "'na' shabd sunayi nahi deta humain"...echoed all over my mind n by the time i reached my room, i was accepted :)
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by the way...i have 2 quizes tomorrow...so no more typing :)

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

bhai log... aur baki chhavi ke behenji log...

is bande ki baat sahi ho na ho... but ye pure batch ki watt lagane mein pada hua hai... kya kamina insaan paida liya hai mere wing mein...

uff... uspe ye sala mujhe summers mein bhi akela nahi chhorega.... baap re... kaise sambhalunga main khud ko...

rohitj said...

"even my girlfriend can't wake me up at 8" .... it doesn't mean that he has a girlfriend.... its as imaginative as the concept of "myself" :P

Anonymous said...

kya solid imagination hai yaar teri
ab aisa to ho nahi sakta ki tu classes na attend kare
so CP SINGH........LAGE RAHO:)

Ishan said...

well i gt nthn from my blog as of now but intend 2 get from in in the future..........actually the blog is also a fooot forward earlier it was a community in orkut.

P.S.-- i live in peeli colony aishbagh n passd my 12th dis yr frm lps n i know u

Unknown said...

One of the better ones i have read....and admiration for your writing skills as well as for the show that you put up before the prof the second time over !! mate !! those are called real guts !